An Ordinary Guy:
Ye that is pretty much who I am – just an ordinary guy with not so ordinary (albeit fairly common) experiences and challenges to face in life.
At the time of writing this short Bio I am almost fifty years of age and no I do not feel fifty…
In some way I feel older. My body has been through the mill and I ache in places I shouldn’t ache, leak in places I shouldn’t leak and mentally I have wandered through worlds that thankfully few have wandered and which have in turn afforded me an age of experiences.
Yet in other ways I feel so very much younger – like a small child stood in an underground train station suddenly realizing that the hand he has been desperately clinging to as he pushed through the bustling crowd is no longer there.
I am lost and bewildered and frightened and anxious. That bustling crowd are the voices and thoughts that taunt and haunt and harrow him, the train station but another departure point from which another mental world with be involuntarily explored.
An Expressive Guy:
Speak to any creative person who experiences mental-health related issues, such as bipolar disorder or Schizophrenia and the such and pretty soon you are likely to find that they experience a reluctance to lose their mental health condition in case they also in turn lose their creativity. I would include myself as someone with that reluctance.
I regret and often even despise my mental illness and yet I love and am so blessed to have my creativity and the fact that I enjoy such things as writing blogs, novels, articles, poetry or my ability to sing and whilst doing so to carry a half decent tune or my ability to draw or paint or sculpt.
No matter what medium is available to me, I need to express and to share – to reach out and to connect and blogging is just one of the many passions I ave in this regard.
A Tormented Guy:
And if you haven’t already realized by now, additional to my poor physical health, yes I have mental-health related issues, to use one such expression, or I suffer from Mental Illness to use but another. I hear voices, experience harmful thoughts, often think about suicide, have first hand personal experience of self-harming to mention but a few.
A Blessed Guy:
But for all f that I still consider myself to be extremely blessed or fortunate (depending on your personal approach). I have very loving and understanding children and very loving and understanding parents. I also have my faith to rely on and I cannot begin to express how important that is and has been to me.
A Very Private Guy:
Because of my physical and mental health issues I spend a great deal of time in isolation and I have to be honest with you I really do like it. It affords me the opportunity to deal with my mental health and my physical health as best I can and without becoming too great a burden on others.
A Very Public Guy:
Along with this blog, I also write for other blogs – some managed by others and some managed myself – and I try to be as open and honest as I can be about my mental and physical health and I do so not only because it helps me keep m,y mind active and to express myself but in the sincere hope that it will somehow help others who may be going through similar challenges and difficulties.
A Real Life, Living, Breathing, Feeling Guy:
Yes I am real and yes I do have feelings and yes I do get hurt when I am attacked and I do realize that by coming out and publishing a blog about Self-Harm – one area of mental illness where the stigma and disdain is still sadly very rife – I am opening myself up to that stigma, disdain, ridicule and attack.
In truth I will tell you freely that if I receive negative or derogatory comments about this site or its contents they will affect me and no doubt hurt me BUT in the same truth I can assure you that they will not be published and thus will not have the opportunity to hurt others who may be experiencing the same things as I do.
A Hopeful Guy:
Yes I remain a hopeful guy and it is my fervent hope that this blog will benefit those who need it and will help destroy some of the stigma and wrong attitudes that I have already mentioned.
So there you have it – as I said, just an ordinary guy with not so ordinary (albeit fairly common) experiences and challenges to face in life. I hope you enjoy the blog/site and that we get to know each other better and to help one another along the way 🙂